I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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