i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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