well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
