Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize