he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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