You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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