i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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