just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
another moral hangover. fuck.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
