stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
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If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
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painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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