i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
