What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
