I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
