it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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