We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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