I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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