I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
