So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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