Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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