My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
