Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
