Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
