Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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