You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
