Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
