the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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