Duck Duck Cougar?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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