i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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