I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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