Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Randomize