I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
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I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
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I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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