lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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