While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
