I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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