oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
