I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
