Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
