So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
