Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
