I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
