College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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