I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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