remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
