We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
