I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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