She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
