remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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