i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
