You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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