Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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