Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
