I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize