I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
