Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
