Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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