Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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