I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
