Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
His nipple licking is glorious
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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