laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
