I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
