I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
