Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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