You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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